Musings while reading "Coraline"

We had an audio book of "Coraline" in the car for the trip up to New Jersey.
     It's a good book, and combined with the Good Omens I read on the first leg of the trip I suppose I had a very inappropriately Gaimy start to the week. That's gonna come back to bite me in the ass later I know it is.

Or does the Ass bite you...

       While listening to Coraline this particular line came up that struck a chord with me.
 "It wasn't brave, because he wasn't afraid"

  So all of you probably remember the slightly sarcastic blog post I did earlier in the week...

If you don't, I can basically sum it all up with this image 

Well Earlier in the summer I did something that, in hindsight, was not intelligent in the slightest. But everyone said I was brave for it. Brave for entering at all, brave for showing SPG what I could do. The result was less "Epic and So Cool" and more "Little sis trying to imitate her cool older siblings but failing miserably" but I don't see why it was brave. For it to have been brave, I would have needed to be afraid.
   I guess I was a little bit. Afraid of judgement but who isn't?

...Godammit Bennett 

  I talked to my mom about this, my strange fear of judgement by my elder friends. She said it was something about wanting to be liked by someone who was a different caliber of musician than I. And the fact that they're older than me/professionals/ awesome.
     Except that last thing is kind of a matter of opinion.

Case in point, here is David eating a 5 pound gummy bear  while semi nude

I suppose I'll just sum it up by saying that I make poor choices when it comes to roll models/style icons/people I want to be like when I grow up. case  in  point.
     Okay the little bro is being impatient. I'll be back with more musings later tonight.

                                     Don't follow the red star, cause that'll give ya the wrong lyrics.

-Clara B

the author of this blog is a dirty hipster now

Hello blog. It's been a while.
       And wouldn't ya' know it I've gone and turned into a goddamn hipster. My cousin over at A daily something is probably going to read this and swell with pride at that. Next thing you know I'll be listening to obscure music and wearing ironic t-shirts. And making photosets on my tumblr dedicated to Nutella

THE FOOD OF GODS  

       But until that day when I am finally consumed by my dirty hipster ways, allow me to tell you all a story. A story of a few gifted robots who have turned me from a mild mannered geek into a dirty rotten obscure music loving hipster.
      Yes, robots. You read that right.

ROBOTS

REALLY ATTRACTIVE ROBOTS 

I MEAN LIKE WOW. 

Oh...you're still here...I guess I should probably explain who these cuties are. Well, actually I think that showing you who they are is a better way to go . Go ahead and click that. I'll wait. Hipsters like me can do that. I'll just amuse myself with pictures off of my cousin's instagram while you take it all in .

SO DEEP

...SO DEEP 

   Oh, you're back? Cool. NOW I CAN PROPERLY EXPLAIN.
Yeah this means more pictures. But not from the Daily Something instagram this time.

      alllllllRIGHT

So Steam Powered Giraffe. Pictured above from left to right we have The Spine, The Jon, and Rabbit. (David Michael Bennett, Jon Sprague, and Bunny Bennett respectively.) The singing musical automatons! Originally a busking act in Balboa Park (circa 2008), the trio of babes  Robots has gained the attention of a thousand some fans all over the world! They've played several plugged in shows (and are currently doing daily ones at the San Diego Zoo) and play at Steam Punk conventions all over the US! (It just so happens that yours truly has plans to see them at the Steampunk Worlds Fair this Spring AND I AM GONNA HUG THEM ALL)  Oh! You want to know what they're like live? HERE YA GO
     AND AS THOUGH MUSICAL TALENT WAS NOT ENOUGH BAM. BUNNY BENNETT'S DA PAGE.

     And that cutie (without a mustache) in the background of "Captain Albert Alexander"? None other than the fabulous MICHAEL PHILLIP REED. (if you click no other links, CLICK THIS ONE. Michael's original stuff is SO AMAZING) The cool guy WITH a mustache is SAMUEL LUKE. No link for this guy, but trust me. He's a cool dude.

So. COOL. 

OH BUT CLARA I hear you say as you stare in awe at Samuel's mustached glory, who is that mysterious be-dreaded man in the background?
     Oh him? Oh I dunno no one impor-

EXCEPT HE IS SO IMPORTANT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND

STEVE NEGRETE. The guy who helps them sound AWESOME for their plugged in shows.
    And I know he looks like a cool dude and he is but also he FIGHTS WITH A SWORD? and SPINS FIRE? Yeah. So basically, everything about these dudes is cool.

      Still not convinced? Well how about THIS 

The Jon. Out of make-up and still more talented than you. 

Okay and another thing,  Bunny and the guys are all SO NICE. David, Bunny, and Michael (MERKER) all have Tumblrs where they talk to fans! And they even encourage us to do fanwork of the robots (Michael is known to like everything that ever shows up in his tag, and Bunny will too sometimes for her tag...I got a reblog from her once. It was awesome) (EXCEPT IT ACTUALLY WASN'T OH MY GOD BUNNY IF YOU EVER READ THIS I AM SO SORRY....STILL....STILL SORRY...ALSO GO TO BED YOU LOSER YOU NEED YOUR REST oh who am I kidding ) 

     Go listen to SPG! They are awesome guys and so so so so VERY talented. Oh, and if you decide you like them please please PLEASE don't pirate their music? They worked very hard on it and Pirating them isn't very nice. Here. I'll reward you in advance for not pirating them
      

Michael Reed, doesn't wear robot makeup and ALSO more talented than you 

Alright! I've been writing for too long, so that's all from me tonight. Remember...STEAM POWERED GIRAFFE.  

                         Don't follow the red star, 

                                Clara B. 

Gay superheros

Before I begin today's rant on stupidity I'd like to direct your attention to this post by the group OneMillionMoms. A conservative group of, you'll never guess, actual mothers of actual presumably living children. It's right here. Click it before reading on if you can stand it.
   you read it yet? Awesome. For your valor, have something cute.

Holy Clambake! Next thing you know they'll claim to be smarter then the average bear...

Right so now that we've gone over that, lets talk about stuff like why that link up there is silly. 

       Okay first, allow me to draw your attention to this paragraph. 

Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, "I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?" 

   

    So what if they do? As a parent and, most importantly, a mother who cares about her child shouldn't you encourage them to be individuals or something? So what if they say they want a boyfriend like an X-man? If they take that example, maybe they took others things too! Like standing up for what's right and that good triumphs in the end! Doesn't your book teach too? That you need to do whats right and stand up for what you believe in? 

Yeah, I remember. Larry and Bob told me to STAND UP 

And with that I bring you this...

   These companies are heavily influencing our youth by using children's superheroes to desensitize and brainwash them in thinking that a gay lifestyle choice is normal and desirable. As Christians, we know that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27).

    .....So I'm to go out on a limb here and assume you don't listen to Sean Hannity in your car. Because, of course, you don't want the Media brainwashing your- oh...wait. 

   You know that Veggietales allusion I made about...a paragraph ago? I'm sure you mother's who don't want to brainwash your kids have never seen them, so let me tell you about 'em. 

    

Presented without commentary

This series of Biblical themed DVD's is based around...a...troupe of vegetable actors who are in a union together? I don't know but the principle cast is usually the same each episode. Each one begins with Bob and Larry (Tomato and Cucumber respectively, both pictured above) answering a letter from a fan of the show and the episode is themed around the letter. Every single one ends with a bible verse and a simple reminder. 

     "God made you special, and he loves you very much." 

 Now I don't know, but I didn't hear any specific qualifiers for who God made special. They just say they made you special. You. Your son or daughter or whatever is special in the eyes of God and...from that passage...you are implying that this statement is only true if your kid is by the book. 

This book, in case you've just joined us

But who am I to say One Million moms are wrong? I mean God never said-

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God" 1 John 4:7 

    anything about-

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8 

   Wait...he just said love? What do you mean he didn't SPECIFY THE TYPE?! Oh well at least that only happens once in the-

    Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers up all wrongs Proverbs 10:12

Now wait just a Goddamn minute here. Hatred? No no, Bible I don't think you have that right. Hatred stir up discord? Well at least I can count on good old Christian love and kindness too-

...oh right

Leave it up to these lame-o's to ruin everyone elses good time. Yeeah. Get with it Westboro.  The bibles says that God loves all of us. Are...are you saying God is a liar? God wouldn't lie to us! He told us not to right in them commandments of his. 

    Now back to that article 

Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to homosexuality at an early age. Comic books would be one of the last places a parent would expect their child to be confronted with homosexual topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Children do not know what straight, homosexual, or coming out of the closet even means, but DC Comics and Marvel are using superheroes to confuse them on this topic to raise questions and awareness of an alternative lifestyle choice. These companies are prompting a premature discussion on sexual orientation.

FOR THE LOVE OF...wait....

     OH NO. 

"Mom. Where do babies come from?" 

       "Dad, the weirdest thing happened during gym class today" 

Oh no. Kids. Learning about the world around them. BLASPHEMOUS. 

      Sound ridiculous? Well so is that statement. Here, let me help you concerned mothers explain it to your curious comic reading sons and daughters. 

 "Love is easy to understand [preferred cute nickname here]! You're father and I love each other, and Northstar and Kyle love each other too! Just like mommy and daddy do!" 

     See? Was that so hard? 

If you said "No" you were right! Now, go tell your little comic fans exactly what I just did. Go on, I can wait. 

     You did it? Great. Here, have something adorable in return 

I'm laughing, because I know you were expecting something else. 

     WELL. Now that that's all sorted, let's agree to part as friends, yes? 

I mean no harm, One Million Moms. I just...am pointing out a very simple solution to your "problem" with Marvel and DC. Which isn't a problem at all really. But call it what you will, every disease has a cure. Even intolerance. 

                             Lovingly Yours, 

                                 Clara B. 

      

Carpe Diem

I love my younger cousins. They're young, naive, imaginative and fantastic and honestly the light of my world some days.

I miss feeling. I miss holding hands and hugging and teasing shoves and being able to touch another person without asking permission or worrying about infringing on set barriers

I love my Aunt next door. She truly cares for my brother and I and, I think, tries to understand us as we are. A Theatrical girl and a shy, quiet boy who loves adventures.

I miss his voice. The catty, dark baritone that reminds me daily that even though I'm an emotional wreck with no sense of fashion, I'm his mess. And he's glad to have me.

I love my Aunt with the two sons. She's lovely and sarcastic and musical and awesome and creative and how I hope to be like in the future. Y'know, only cooler.

I miss my room. My sanctuary, my workspace, mine. I miss my pile of blankets and pillow and the rumble of my fan and the sounds of my younger brother kicking the wall in his sleep.

I love my Grandparents. They both treat my brother and I with love and respect (...yes even when they called me a liberal that one time) and only want whats best for us.

I miss my friends. I miss her reminding me to think positive thoughts about myself and my darling genius telling me how beautiful I am when I stumble into class in sweats and a t-shirt. I miss his cynicism and his sweetness and her shy insight. I miss laughter early in the morning and late into the night. I miss being surrounded by people, never truly on my own.

I love it here. I have so many memories, good and bad, attached to everything in this house I couldn't bear to miss making a few more. I guess I'm just a sucker, but I assume that's what I'm known for. Right?



         My time here has come to an end, but I'll be back soon enough.

And wanna know something? I can't wait to come back.


        Until we meet again!
                  Clara B
 

Clothes (DAY SIX)

Dear Rockaway Mall,

                 I write today, to thank you.
I recently went on an excursion you your shopping center in hopes of finding clothes that would fit my obviously below the beauty standard figure. I have had no trouble in my current home of Grand Rapids and only assumed that I would have the same results here. Much to my surprise however, only one store had clothes that catered to young girls my size.
   I found this to be a bold, yet powerful statement on your part. How else are young girls supposed to know they aren't pretty unless they can't buy cute clothes? It's clear to me that you're trying to encourage more girls to go to dangerous extremes like starvation so that they can purchase the products provided in your stores. I appreciate that dedication on your part.
     Honestly, if people were more like you this entire childhood obesity thing would just be gone. Not to mention world hunger. No one to feed if no one is eating. So really you're just trying to solve the world's problems. I appreciate that.

                           Signed,
                              A size above L L

Can you hear me now? (Day...Five)

Agave Nectar makes a wicked poison 

Stealing the joy from homemade sweets 

Like you, stealing my words from my head

and twisting them, deforming them. 

Am I easy to ignore? 

It must be, you do it so well. 

Five years of effort, squandered at your feet 

Did you forgot how we once were? 

Friends, sisters, partners in crime! 

Now? We're barely cousins. 

Hardly friends or even strangers 

Can you hear me now? 

Or am I just that easy to ignore...

Cookies!! (Day four!)

So to try and make up for my former insolence in lacking posts, I made you losers some cookies with the help of my little cousins. And I took pictures!

Them pretties are heath chip cookies. With Hershey kisses in 'em. And I think Emma's hand is the one you spy. They were pretty easy to make to! Just modify a chocolate chip cookie recipe to include heath chips, and then stuff a hershey kiss inside and your set! Ours came out a bit thin and crispy, so I suggest adding an extra cup of flower to them if you decide to make them yourself~


Alright! I'm caught up, so just regular updates now.

   Oh! And I finished Mockingjay.

Clara B.

Conservative Radio (Day three)

Uh....hey guys

 Sorry for my lack of updates. Been a bit busy with the whole "family" thing. Here, have some pictures of cookies I made instead of blogging.

       
You'll get a full post on those in a second. Lets focus on radio for now, because I got a few words to say on that.

         I suppose there isn't much point on complaining too much about this. I mean, speaking honestly almost everything that could be said negatively about that has already been said a thousand times over.  I could go on and on about how I think my relatives are close minded bigots and how it annoys me when they call me a "Liberal" after I've had to endure conservative radio personalities talk about how horrible Liberals are. But since most of my relatives supposedly READ this blog the idea is not exactly a "good" one.
   I guess I'm just sour. By day two I was already missing my friends in Grand Rapids and being able to cuss and talk openly about things like Sex and Religion without too much of a worry. But that's neither here nor there, especially not here. Sign.

                   Wish me luck.
                             Clara B.

Church and Storytelling (Day 2)

Sooooooo....how was your day?
     Me? Oh well, I went to my Aunt's church today. God damn. Ironically the preacher made me want to throw myself into hell a little early just so he'd shut up about it. I eventually gave in and just wrote for the rest of the service. I might post that somewhere later, it was actually kinda cute for me. I was proud.
   Alright so I wore a skirt today in an attempt to prove to my relatives that I can be girly and cute. I ended up running around with two little boys in several different variations if a wrap skirt so I wouldn't flash the poor things.
   
     Observations of the day:

• When your uncle asks if you've been looking at porn on your laptop, your automatic reaction should not be to say "YES" 
• Pudding and small children. Only bonuses from going to a strict church. 
• And maybe getting to hang with my cool aunt 
• GOD this week. just....ugh. 

So we're off to a good start so far. I mean I don't want anyone to die yet so I suppose that's good~

         -

           Clara 

Coming Home (Live NJ blog day One)

Welp. Been here about two hours and I've already figured out a few issues that I will need to correct as soon as possible if not faster.

1.      No Wi-fi which means my time that I'll be able to work will be limited 
2.      The lack of obvious solitude and privacy while I work, since the cable is on the first floor and my own room on the second 

Other than my obvious discontent with the situation there really isn't much to report yet. I have pictures but I'll wait on those until the end of my journey through hell I've been forced into.

       Until then,
             Clara

How Bad Can I Be? (Also, Hunger Games!!)

I'm halfway through Mockingjay, for the folks at home who are keeping score I guess.

     So I got forced into seeing "The Lorax" some time ago. Lemme tell you, I am not gonna praise the story. Not in this post anyways. No no, I am here for only one reason. The anima-

             
The um....the visual aspe-

         


Okay fine. 
      Yeah, I have the hots for the Once-ler. But I swear, I can explain it.

 Okay, I can probably explain it...

        The Lorax is trying to tell kids the coorperations will bring the end of human life. Or something, y'know I really don't know what they were going for. I can't be too far off the mark though. Now most people know the basic story, or at least the once of the movie if they've seen the ad's for it. Let me lay it down for you if you haven't.
    Basically, this kid named Ted (Zefron) needs to find a tree for his girl-pal Audrey (Taylor Swift). Sad for him, because he lives in a world faker then Heidi Montag.

(pictured above: Thneedville)

and everything is made of PLASTIC. So yeah, he lives in there and he needs to get out of there to talk to Onceler and get a tree. The majority of this film is the story of the once-ler, who was just trying to make his way in the world. And impress his overbearing mother so she'd love him and say he was the favorite. How was he gonna do this? He had no idea. 

       

     No, no this movie was for kids. Little ones who don't know when to shut up. Ahem. No, he doesn't become the biggest name in Seussical Burlesque. Though this certainley would have improved the film if you ask me. What? Expecting some joke about trees? No no no. I'm not that kind of woman. 

     So he travels by cart (his family is much better off, having an RV mansion for some reason) with only his tent house and his guitar to give him company on the open road. With his lonliness in mind, I guess it makes sense when he befriends a bunch of barbaloots through the gift of snack foods. 

    And then, oddest of all, he and the Lorax...well...they don't become exactly enemies. In fact...know that scene from the ad's when the two of them wake up in bed together? It happens. It's awkwardly adorable, but in the Lorax's defense nights can get very cold in the forest.  And bright orange fur can stick out to predators....so he had his reasons. And the two of them were almost to "Heterosexual Life Partners" for a brief few seconds when the Once-lers Thneed (hand knitted) failed to make a buck. 

     But through some random (cheat) plot twist, Once-ler becomes POPULAR with his thneed. 

and then we get an awesome number abut power corruption where everything goes to Hell and all of his friends LEAVE HIM because he's only trying to be respected. But he just comes off as being a big screw up in Elton John glasses. 

Oh, and some really hot gloves too. 

        Really, if they had just made this movie about him, it could have worked. It taught a lesson. Maybe not about trees, but about just being yourself. Actually, it's a tiny bit like Gypsy....in a twisted sort of sense. (I blame Hunger Games for this...DAMN YOU ODAIR)  

     Louise and Once-ler were both trying to get their mother's to like them. How'd they do it? By bringing in money and becoming something they weren't. For Louise, it was a stripper. For the Onceler it was a quadra-zillionaire who spent his money on suits and fancy guitars.

     I really just typed that. 

 Go me!! 

               So yeah, to close this up....I guess if you wanna see this movie it's fine. I'd suggest making sure you're in the mood because the ending is a bit like what would happen if Green peace threw up on "We Are The World" or something. But other than that it's pretty alright. And President Snow O'hare does make that interesting with his sarcastic "Let it Die" verse. So whatever. How bad could it possibly be? 

        Till we meet again! 

                 Sing out,

                       Clara B. 

Cousinly Commemorative

So to commemorate the beginning of Saved Not Judged <333 I decided that I'd direct all of you to a verse that I happen to enjoy very much...because Jesus is mah hambabby okk?? So dont juge meeeeeeeeee <33
           Revelation 17:5

Short post today. I'm feeling a bit under the weather

        Just remember, the bible says cutting your hair is a sin!
               
          Short haired and saved,
                  Clara

Confessions of an Artless Dodger

It's that time of year again folks! No, I'm not talking about the rain.
     Here in my High School we hold a "Senior Assassination" every year as a sort of sport. Most of the seniors participate because A its fun and B you can win cash monies. Trust no one, and always be armed with a pocket nerf gun for protection because you never know when you'll have the team mole on your tail.

            Here's a lowdown of how this all works!
The participating seniors all pull a name of another participating senior who they have to try and hit with a nerf dart before they themselves get shot. You get shot? You lose and give up your target name so whoever shot you can go on and whoever it was you were supposed to shoot. Last person standing wins.

• You can't shoot or be shot on school grounds, at school sanctioned events, or at work
• Nerf weapons only 
• no going into someone's house unless they invite you in

Other then that? Anything goes. And not that I would know it, but paying off Juniors for information works better than you'd think. Assuming, that is, you know they won't tip off whoever your having them dodge. Yes dodge. We've been watching Oliver Twist in History as of late. Well the blood bath has begun, I'll update you if anyone I know gets shot!
           May the odds be ever in your favor!
    -Clara

Carl Wheezer

         Today's post is about procrastination.

I'll finish it tommorow.

Captain America's Undergarments

Holy hell guys....107 views and I have done NOTHING. 

      Awesome. 

 Welp, since you came I here I guess I might as well post. Right? Well alright, I will. 

Suits. I really, really love suits. Nothing suits me quite like a suit...well...okay a man in a suit is what suits me. Some girls (or guys, whatever) like to see washboard abs or maybe a real chiseled physique?  Not me man. You give me a guy in a suit and I'll ogle him till the end of time...or until he files a restraining order. Whichever comes first .

          You need some help there Mr.Radcliffe? ....No? ...alright. 

Right. So I guess I don't need men in suits so much as I need them to not look like they're offering themselves up to their fellow prisoners    trash.  Low rise jeans are one thing, but if your jeans are sagging around your stupid ankles and showing your My Little Pony boxers for the world to see, then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. I mean when have you ever heard of women showing their underwear in an attempt to be sexy? 

       

      

Well anyways back to men! I don't know about you, 107 viewers that supposedly looked at this for some reason...but I am surrounded by buts. All of the butts. All of them. And not the sweet plush kind, the actual gross kind...with weird phrases on the boxers. I don't care what you think Nick, Mr.Woody will NEVER be funny. Also, Spencer you've been waving the exact same boxers in my face since October. Tch, slob. 

 My personal bias against all life on Earth aside, doesn't everyone find that gross or....is it just me? 

Whatevs. I'm gonna try and post Daily now so EXPECT MORE OF THIS TRASH TOMMOROW LOSAHS 

       All my love, 

             Muse