Coming Home (Live NJ blog day One)

Welp. Been here about two hours and I've already figured out a few issues that I will need to correct as soon as possible if not faster.

1.      No Wi-fi which means my time that I'll be able to work will be limited 
2.      The lack of obvious solitude and privacy while I work, since the cable is on the first floor and my own room on the second 

Other than my obvious discontent with the situation there really isn't much to report yet. I have pictures but I'll wait on those until the end of my journey through hell I've been forced into.

       Until then,
             Clara

How Bad Can I Be? (Also, Hunger Games!!)

I'm halfway through Mockingjay, for the folks at home who are keeping score I guess.

     So I got forced into seeing "The Lorax" some time ago. Lemme tell you, I am not gonna praise the story. Not in this post anyways. No no, I am here for only one reason. The anima-

             
The um....the visual aspe-

         


Okay fine. 
      Yeah, I have the hots for the Once-ler. But I swear, I can explain it.

 Okay, I can probably explain it...

        The Lorax is trying to tell kids the coorperations will bring the end of human life. Or something, y'know I really don't know what they were going for. I can't be too far off the mark though. Now most people know the basic story, or at least the once of the movie if they've seen the ad's for it. Let me lay it down for you if you haven't.
    Basically, this kid named Ted (Zefron) needs to find a tree for his girl-pal Audrey (Taylor Swift). Sad for him, because he lives in a world faker then Heidi Montag.

(pictured above: Thneedville)

and everything is made of PLASTIC. So yeah, he lives in there and he needs to get out of there to talk to Onceler and get a tree. The majority of this film is the story of the once-ler, who was just trying to make his way in the world. And impress his overbearing mother so she'd love him and say he was the favorite. How was he gonna do this? He had no idea. 

       

     No, no this movie was for kids. Little ones who don't know when to shut up. Ahem. No, he doesn't become the biggest name in Seussical Burlesque. Though this certainley would have improved the film if you ask me. What? Expecting some joke about trees? No no no. I'm not that kind of woman. 

     So he travels by cart (his family is much better off, having an RV mansion for some reason) with only his tent house and his guitar to give him company on the open road. With his lonliness in mind, I guess it makes sense when he befriends a bunch of barbaloots through the gift of snack foods. 

    And then, oddest of all, he and the Lorax...well...they don't become exactly enemies. In fact...know that scene from the ad's when the two of them wake up in bed together? It happens. It's awkwardly adorable, but in the Lorax's defense nights can get very cold in the forest.  And bright orange fur can stick out to predators....so he had his reasons. And the two of them were almost to "Heterosexual Life Partners" for a brief few seconds when the Once-lers Thneed (hand knitted) failed to make a buck. 

     But through some random (cheat) plot twist, Once-ler becomes POPULAR with his thneed. 

and then we get an awesome number abut power corruption where everything goes to Hell and all of his friends LEAVE HIM because he's only trying to be respected. But he just comes off as being a big screw up in Elton John glasses. 

Oh, and some really hot gloves too. 

        Really, if they had just made this movie about him, it could have worked. It taught a lesson. Maybe not about trees, but about just being yourself. Actually, it's a tiny bit like Gypsy....in a twisted sort of sense. (I blame Hunger Games for this...DAMN YOU ODAIR)  

     Louise and Once-ler were both trying to get their mother's to like them. How'd they do it? By bringing in money and becoming something they weren't. For Louise, it was a stripper. For the Onceler it was a quadra-zillionaire who spent his money on suits and fancy guitars.

     I really just typed that. 

 Go me!! 

               So yeah, to close this up....I guess if you wanna see this movie it's fine. I'd suggest making sure you're in the mood because the ending is a bit like what would happen if Green peace threw up on "We Are The World" or something. But other than that it's pretty alright. And President Snow O'hare does make that interesting with his sarcastic "Let it Die" verse. So whatever. How bad could it possibly be? 

        Till we meet again! 

                 Sing out,

                       Clara B. 

Cousinly Commemorative

So to commemorate the beginning of Saved Not Judged <333 I decided that I'd direct all of you to a verse that I happen to enjoy very much...because Jesus is mah hambabby okk?? So dont juge meeeeeeeeee <33
           Revelation 17:5

Short post today. I'm feeling a bit under the weather

        Just remember, the bible says cutting your hair is a sin!
               
          Short haired and saved,
                  Clara

Confessions of an Artless Dodger

It's that time of year again folks! No, I'm not talking about the rain.
     Here in my High School we hold a "Senior Assassination" every year as a sort of sport. Most of the seniors participate because A its fun and B you can win cash monies. Trust no one, and always be armed with a pocket nerf gun for protection because you never know when you'll have the team mole on your tail.

            Here's a lowdown of how this all works!
The participating seniors all pull a name of another participating senior who they have to try and hit with a nerf dart before they themselves get shot. You get shot? You lose and give up your target name so whoever shot you can go on and whoever it was you were supposed to shoot. Last person standing wins.

• You can't shoot or be shot on school grounds, at school sanctioned events, or at work
• Nerf weapons only 
• no going into someone's house unless they invite you in

Other then that? Anything goes. And not that I would know it, but paying off Juniors for information works better than you'd think. Assuming, that is, you know they won't tip off whoever your having them dodge. Yes dodge. We've been watching Oliver Twist in History as of late. Well the blood bath has begun, I'll update you if anyone I know gets shot!
           May the odds be ever in your favor!
    -Clara

Carl Wheezer

         Today's post is about procrastination.

I'll finish it tommorow.

Captain America's Undergarments

Holy hell guys....107 views and I have done NOTHING. 

      Awesome. 

 Welp, since you came I here I guess I might as well post. Right? Well alright, I will. 

Suits. I really, really love suits. Nothing suits me quite like a suit...well...okay a man in a suit is what suits me. Some girls (or guys, whatever) like to see washboard abs or maybe a real chiseled physique?  Not me man. You give me a guy in a suit and I'll ogle him till the end of time...or until he files a restraining order. Whichever comes first .

          You need some help there Mr.Radcliffe? ....No? ...alright. 

Right. So I guess I don't need men in suits so much as I need them to not look like they're offering themselves up to their fellow prisoners    trash.  Low rise jeans are one thing, but if your jeans are sagging around your stupid ankles and showing your My Little Pony boxers for the world to see, then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. I mean when have you ever heard of women showing their underwear in an attempt to be sexy? 

       

      

Well anyways back to men! I don't know about you, 107 viewers that supposedly looked at this for some reason...but I am surrounded by buts. All of the butts. All of them. And not the sweet plush kind, the actual gross kind...with weird phrases on the boxers. I don't care what you think Nick, Mr.Woody will NEVER be funny. Also, Spencer you've been waving the exact same boxers in my face since October. Tch, slob. 

 My personal bias against all life on Earth aside, doesn't everyone find that gross or....is it just me? 

Whatevs. I'm gonna try and post Daily now so EXPECT MORE OF THIS TRASH TOMMOROW LOSAHS 

       All my love, 

             Muse