Gay superheros

Before I begin today's rant on stupidity I'd like to direct your attention to this post by the group OneMillionMoms. A conservative group of, you'll never guess, actual mothers of actual presumably living children. It's right here. Click it before reading on if you can stand it.
   you read it yet? Awesome. For your valor, have something cute.

Holy Clambake! Next thing you know they'll claim to be smarter then the average bear...

Right so now that we've gone over that, lets talk about stuff like why that link up there is silly. 

       Okay first, allow me to draw your attention to this paragraph. 

Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, "I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?" 

   

    So what if they do? As a parent and, most importantly, a mother who cares about her child shouldn't you encourage them to be individuals or something? So what if they say they want a boyfriend like an X-man? If they take that example, maybe they took others things too! Like standing up for what's right and that good triumphs in the end! Doesn't your book teach too? That you need to do whats right and stand up for what you believe in? 

Yeah, I remember. Larry and Bob told me to STAND UP 

And with that I bring you this...

   These companies are heavily influencing our youth by using children's superheroes to desensitize and brainwash them in thinking that a gay lifestyle choice is normal and desirable. As Christians, we know that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27).

    .....So I'm to go out on a limb here and assume you don't listen to Sean Hannity in your car. Because, of course, you don't want the Media brainwashing your- oh...wait. 

   You know that Veggietales allusion I made about...a paragraph ago? I'm sure you mother's who don't want to brainwash your kids have never seen them, so let me tell you about 'em. 

    

Presented without commentary

This series of Biblical themed DVD's is based around...a...troupe of vegetable actors who are in a union together? I don't know but the principle cast is usually the same each episode. Each one begins with Bob and Larry (Tomato and Cucumber respectively, both pictured above) answering a letter from a fan of the show and the episode is themed around the letter. Every single one ends with a bible verse and a simple reminder. 

     "God made you special, and he loves you very much." 

 Now I don't know, but I didn't hear any specific qualifiers for who God made special. They just say they made you special. You. Your son or daughter or whatever is special in the eyes of God and...from that passage...you are implying that this statement is only true if your kid is by the book. 

This book, in case you've just joined us

But who am I to say One Million moms are wrong? I mean God never said-

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God" 1 John 4:7 

    anything about-

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8 

   Wait...he just said love? What do you mean he didn't SPECIFY THE TYPE?! Oh well at least that only happens once in the-

    Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers up all wrongs Proverbs 10:12

Now wait just a Goddamn minute here. Hatred? No no, Bible I don't think you have that right. Hatred stir up discord? Well at least I can count on good old Christian love and kindness too-

...oh right

Leave it up to these lame-o's to ruin everyone elses good time. Yeeah. Get with it Westboro.  The bibles says that God loves all of us. Are...are you saying God is a liar? God wouldn't lie to us! He told us not to right in them commandments of his. 

    Now back to that article 

Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to homosexuality at an early age. Comic books would be one of the last places a parent would expect their child to be confronted with homosexual topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Children do not know what straight, homosexual, or coming out of the closet even means, but DC Comics and Marvel are using superheroes to confuse them on this topic to raise questions and awareness of an alternative lifestyle choice. These companies are prompting a premature discussion on sexual orientation.

FOR THE LOVE OF...wait....

     OH NO. 

"Mom. Where do babies come from?" 

       "Dad, the weirdest thing happened during gym class today" 

Oh no. Kids. Learning about the world around them. BLASPHEMOUS. 

      Sound ridiculous? Well so is that statement. Here, let me help you concerned mothers explain it to your curious comic reading sons and daughters. 

 "Love is easy to understand [preferred cute nickname here]! You're father and I love each other, and Northstar and Kyle love each other too! Just like mommy and daddy do!" 

     See? Was that so hard? 

If you said "No" you were right! Now, go tell your little comic fans exactly what I just did. Go on, I can wait. 

     You did it? Great. Here, have something adorable in return 

I'm laughing, because I know you were expecting something else. 

     WELL. Now that that's all sorted, let's agree to part as friends, yes? 

I mean no harm, One Million Moms. I just...am pointing out a very simple solution to your "problem" with Marvel and DC. Which isn't a problem at all really. But call it what you will, every disease has a cure. Even intolerance. 

                             Lovingly Yours, 

                                 Clara B. 

      

Carpe Diem

I love my younger cousins. They're young, naive, imaginative and fantastic and honestly the light of my world some days.

I miss feeling. I miss holding hands and hugging and teasing shoves and being able to touch another person without asking permission or worrying about infringing on set barriers

I love my Aunt next door. She truly cares for my brother and I and, I think, tries to understand us as we are. A Theatrical girl and a shy, quiet boy who loves adventures.

I miss his voice. The catty, dark baritone that reminds me daily that even though I'm an emotional wreck with no sense of fashion, I'm his mess. And he's glad to have me.

I love my Aunt with the two sons. She's lovely and sarcastic and musical and awesome and creative and how I hope to be like in the future. Y'know, only cooler.

I miss my room. My sanctuary, my workspace, mine. I miss my pile of blankets and pillow and the rumble of my fan and the sounds of my younger brother kicking the wall in his sleep.

I love my Grandparents. They both treat my brother and I with love and respect (...yes even when they called me a liberal that one time) and only want whats best for us.

I miss my friends. I miss her reminding me to think positive thoughts about myself and my darling genius telling me how beautiful I am when I stumble into class in sweats and a t-shirt. I miss his cynicism and his sweetness and her shy insight. I miss laughter early in the morning and late into the night. I miss being surrounded by people, never truly on my own.

I love it here. I have so many memories, good and bad, attached to everything in this house I couldn't bear to miss making a few more. I guess I'm just a sucker, but I assume that's what I'm known for. Right?



         My time here has come to an end, but I'll be back soon enough.

And wanna know something? I can't wait to come back.


        Until we meet again!
                  Clara B
 

Clothes (DAY SIX)

Dear Rockaway Mall,

                 I write today, to thank you.
I recently went on an excursion you your shopping center in hopes of finding clothes that would fit my obviously below the beauty standard figure. I have had no trouble in my current home of Grand Rapids and only assumed that I would have the same results here. Much to my surprise however, only one store had clothes that catered to young girls my size.
   I found this to be a bold, yet powerful statement on your part. How else are young girls supposed to know they aren't pretty unless they can't buy cute clothes? It's clear to me that you're trying to encourage more girls to go to dangerous extremes like starvation so that they can purchase the products provided in your stores. I appreciate that dedication on your part.
     Honestly, if people were more like you this entire childhood obesity thing would just be gone. Not to mention world hunger. No one to feed if no one is eating. So really you're just trying to solve the world's problems. I appreciate that.

                           Signed,
                              A size above L L

Can you hear me now? (Day...Five)

Agave Nectar makes a wicked poison 

Stealing the joy from homemade sweets 

Like you, stealing my words from my head

and twisting them, deforming them. 

Am I easy to ignore? 

It must be, you do it so well. 

Five years of effort, squandered at your feet 

Did you forgot how we once were? 

Friends, sisters, partners in crime! 

Now? We're barely cousins. 

Hardly friends or even strangers 

Can you hear me now? 

Or am I just that easy to ignore...

Cookies!! (Day four!)

So to try and make up for my former insolence in lacking posts, I made you losers some cookies with the help of my little cousins. And I took pictures!

Them pretties are heath chip cookies. With Hershey kisses in 'em. And I think Emma's hand is the one you spy. They were pretty easy to make to! Just modify a chocolate chip cookie recipe to include heath chips, and then stuff a hershey kiss inside and your set! Ours came out a bit thin and crispy, so I suggest adding an extra cup of flower to them if you decide to make them yourself~


Alright! I'm caught up, so just regular updates now.

   Oh! And I finished Mockingjay.

Clara B.

Conservative Radio (Day three)

Uh....hey guys

 Sorry for my lack of updates. Been a bit busy with the whole "family" thing. Here, have some pictures of cookies I made instead of blogging.

       
You'll get a full post on those in a second. Lets focus on radio for now, because I got a few words to say on that.

         I suppose there isn't much point on complaining too much about this. I mean, speaking honestly almost everything that could be said negatively about that has already been said a thousand times over.  I could go on and on about how I think my relatives are close minded bigots and how it annoys me when they call me a "Liberal" after I've had to endure conservative radio personalities talk about how horrible Liberals are. But since most of my relatives supposedly READ this blog the idea is not exactly a "good" one.
   I guess I'm just sour. By day two I was already missing my friends in Grand Rapids and being able to cuss and talk openly about things like Sex and Religion without too much of a worry. But that's neither here nor there, especially not here. Sign.

                   Wish me luck.
                             Clara B.

Church and Storytelling (Day 2)

Sooooooo....how was your day?
     Me? Oh well, I went to my Aunt's church today. God damn. Ironically the preacher made me want to throw myself into hell a little early just so he'd shut up about it. I eventually gave in and just wrote for the rest of the service. I might post that somewhere later, it was actually kinda cute for me. I was proud.
   Alright so I wore a skirt today in an attempt to prove to my relatives that I can be girly and cute. I ended up running around with two little boys in several different variations if a wrap skirt so I wouldn't flash the poor things.
   
     Observations of the day:

• When your uncle asks if you've been looking at porn on your laptop, your automatic reaction should not be to say "YES" 
• Pudding and small children. Only bonuses from going to a strict church. 
• And maybe getting to hang with my cool aunt 
• GOD this week. just....ugh. 

So we're off to a good start so far. I mean I don't want anyone to die yet so I suppose that's good~

         -

           Clara